Losing my mum
The past years have been some of the hardest of my life. My mum was very ill, and much of my time and energy went into caring for her. She passed away three weeks ago.
I’ve been grieving for a long time because I knew her illness was terminal and that our time together was limited. Since her passing I’ve been very sad but also in constant activity. I’ve been handling her finances, clearing out her two (!) homes, and planning her funeral. layout
I haven’t really had the space to slow down yet, but I know that part will come. You know, I have two kids, a full-time job and a dog as well. It’s been crazy.
The whole experience of slowly losing her over this long period has completely changed me. I have broken down and carefully put myself back together. Right before she passed away, I was actually in the strongest mental state that I’ve ever been in.
I know that I will be fine. I have the tools that helped me heal in the past, and I want to honor life by living it fully. I know that’s also what my mum would have wanted.
What got me on this healing journey was that I started asking myself big questions, like:
“What’s the meaning of life and what is it really about?”
“What happens after this life?”
“Why do we suffer?” (this was a big one for me because I have been in a suffering mindset for as long as I can remember, and boy have I suffered during my mum’s last years)
“Is there a God and why would He/She put humanity through so much hurt and suffering?”
“What does it even mean to heal?”
When you start asking questions like this, life opens up to you and you begin to find answers in unexpected ways. I’ve realized that we don’t all have to share the same beliefs because we each get to choose what feels true and helpful. I choose to believe the thoughts that bring me peace.
Losing my mum slowly over the years has deepened my understanding that there is a higher power, Source, the Universe, God. That life continues in another form after this one. That we all come from the same Source and return home when the party on Earth is over. That we constantly receive signs and messages from the other side.
That we shape our reality, and that what matters most about the challenges we face is what we tell ourselves about them. That we’ve chosen this life to evolve spiritually because we can’t really evolve in the heavens where all we experience is oneness and universal love.
Only when we experience separation or duality can we truly grow spiritually, and that’s what this 3D physical reality helps us do. That’s why we chose to come to Earth. We separate, and then we find our way home.
